Today was my first bike ride in a while. Yesterday I'd tested to see if I could lean some weight on my upper body while on the exercise bike. It was time.
Before I headed out, I posted my first draft of the Evotri essay for review by my editors (sister & husband). Then I just had to fix 10 more things before they probably saw it. Finally, I got my procrastinating butt out the door with my Bike Friday.
It was a gorgeous day, which always helps. I couldn't get my bike computer to work, though. Strange. But this was to be an easy ride so who cares how fast I went or how far. Let's just see if I can ride without hurting as much as before.
Once on the road I had no major pain but was noticeably riding UNlike my usual self. And I'm not talking about simply riding slower, I'm talking about riding scared. Yes, I'd definitely lost some confidence in my cycling skills. I was afraid I'd fall again and hurt myself even worse than before. And if I did, Dave would be unable to help me, being thousands of miles away. I needed something to distract me.
Unfortunately, all I could think of was this darn head-on car collision I was involved in over 20 years ago (What happened to positive thinking?). Back then, no seat belts were required so my head found the windshield and it cracked (the windshield). I ended up with a concussion and also good chest bruise from the steering wheel. I kept "seeing" imaginary cars and headlights coming towards me when going through that intersection and avoided it for probably a year.
Back on my bike, something similar was happening. Everything seemed to be out to get me ... rocks, glass, gravel on the ground, parked cars, cars coming up from behind, cross traffic. Even surfboards in the back of trucks going by seemed to be waiting to jump out at me. I felt as if I was pedaling through a war zone, in Hawaii of all places, LOL.
Then I spun up that little hill that I ran up the other day and got a lift. No shearing rib pain, though I was breathing pretty heavy at the top -- YAY!
As I recovered I tried to clear a nostril that was bugging me. No one was near me but I wasn't able to generate the force that was required. I had to settle for a sniffle. Very unsatisfying.
But later came the most telling part of my ride, going down a big hill. Usually, I fly down hills as if I had a death wish. This time, I couldn't get my hands to let go of the brakes. OMG, what happened to old Shirley?!
Obviously, my mind was not back into it yet.
But I made it down to the bottom safe, back up and back home without the sky falling. Tomorrow I'll head out for a longer ride, try letting go a little more. I think it's actually better that my bike computer stays all zeros right now. I just need to get out and ride.
PS - My Macbook Pro just arrived !!!