Thanks everyone for their comments and emails to help me get over my "hill" about Dave's training plans. We're fine again and stronger than before, actually. It's been tough with him traveling nearly full-time the past couple years. There have been countless good byes, I love yous, I miss yous and welcome homes, but many things not said, come to find out. For instance, I had no idea he'd been planning to do this particular bike training plan for quite a while so it just seemed to come out of the blue. But now I know that he actually has been preparing himself for it and looking forward to it. We're going to work out a way that he can do it without me getting any more gray hairs.
I must admit that some of this was also the result of bad timing as well ... he told me just when my PMS monster had gotten loose! Yup, it was rearing its ugly head snarling and just looking to pick a fight, unfortunately. It's been a while since that nasty bugger got out, but the 3 conditions for its unwelcome appearance happened to occur this weekend: 1) the monthly P loomed, 2) Dave happened to be home, and 3) I had not exercised much this week (still recovering from my last race), which usually keeps it at bay.
Ladies, I know you probably know what I mean and guys, if you don't, beware ... Anyway, I realized later that much of my poor handling of the situation was hormone-related and apologized.
The other interesting thing is that my step-daughter, the person closest to both Dave and I, said something very insightful that made me realize something about myself. In her email to me, she said:
"Finally Shirley, I'm sorry but I don't think it helps to ask such a long list of people for their advice about your first really big fight in years. None of us are experts, so it sounds more like an attempt to get people to validate your opinion, and thus gain ammunition against Dad, than to really have an honest discussion to solve the problem."
You see, I've usually been a very private person in the past and, indeed, to ask for help from others on personal issues would have been very out of character. It would have been much more my style to stick to my guns, hold everything in until I could stand it no more and then explode. And the same with Dave, and probably Katie too. Hence, our few big fights have been real knock-em down, drag'em outside, kick'em in the head and then kick'em some more fight-fests ala the UFC ... figuratively, of course. (For those who don't know, we both have black belts in karate).
But because I don't interact with others much on a daily basis any more, blogging has become my main form of communication with people and also my main means for staying sane. Without a doubt, I can much easier write down what I'm feeling in a blog than pick up a phone and talk to someone about it. Another sad but true statement is that I also think I have many more friends out there in the blog-cyber-virtual world than I have here locally so reaching out to them for help is now second nature and it definitely beats bottling up emotions until I burst.
So thank you again, family and friends, for being there and responding so quickly to my plea for help. Though Dave and I both lost some sleep about it yesterday, there was relatively little "blood" drawn, we set a new shortest fight time PR (personal record), and Dave didn't even have to buy me 3# of Skittles to try to appease the PMS monster, which he's done in the past.
Hope everyone has a safe Memorial Day holiday. This will probably be my last blog entry until I return from Hawaii mid-June.